Sunday, January 29, 2006

Saturday, January 28, 2006

I, Whore

I finally caved to the temptation to put the scant "popularity" of my weblog to the test and pimp out some space for advertisements. I've got no idea exactly how much actual cash I stand to make from people clicking on generic ad links on my blog, although I ran across something that lit up the cliched dollar signs in my eyes:


My blog is worth $2,258.16.
How much is your blog worth?



My blog is apparently worth thousands! I'm still not completely clear what this is based on, but to whomever is valuing Fillet of Soul at over $2200, is that monthly, yearly, or a one-time sale? Either way, deal. E-mail me and you'll have full ownership the minute the check clears.

Meanwhile, I'm swinging my pink boa Google's way, with the assumption that I'll be hearing from them about accruing advertising revenue in the form of a check, auto-deposit, or periodic addition to my IRA. I'm thinking I should be able to pay off my student loans by next weekend.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

FUCNN

This makes me want to puke.

My e-mail to CNN:
"I've been increasingly despondent over the apparent abdication of responsibility most media outlets have shown in covering the abuses of power perpetrated by the current administration; however, until recently I've held CNN in high regard among major news channels. Your hiring of Glenn Beck is entirely beyond the pale. I'm certain your staff is fully aware of the inexhaustible catalog of execrable, indefensible, and disgustingly misanthropic statements he's made on his radio show. Why not round it off by digging up Anne Coulter and bring back Michael Savage? Nauseating. This is a very sudden last straw."

If you have any doubt or confusion about what an unearthly abomination Beck is, have a look here. And it mentions something that I was unaware of -- CNN also just hired Bill Bennett, who lost his own radio show after claiming that "[Y]ou could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down." FOX squared. Shameful.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Melancarly: FrankenMetro 1993 - 2006

FrankenMetro passed away while on work transport duty last Wednesday after a short illness (it had been stalling at stoplights). Its last journey was one of approximately 80 feet from my habitual parking spot to the mailbox, after which it was meant to take its wonted route to ACS. It was not to be. After cranking but failing to catch, I pushed its still-warm body back to its space and called AAA. It was towed approximately eight miles to The Car Shop, where dedicated mechanics labored to resuscitate it for two days before it was pronounced totaled at approximately 3:00 pm on Friday.

Over the course of its exceptional life, it had traveled over 127,000 miles -- I learned only after its passing that a Geo's aluminum engine is reliable only up to 100,000 miles, afterwards it drives on borrowed time. I had hoped to push it onwards past 200,000 miles, but apparently that's akin to my hoping my dog lives to be 40. As it was, in Metro years, it was probably already around 105.

I drove a company car back to the mechanic's, where it rests still, and cleaned it out for the last time, relieving it of its jumper cables, funnel, and registration documents. I rubbed its hood and bid farewell. It wrung my soul to see it finally and eternally still, defeated, immobile. After so many miles, after bearing me to view the breathtaking Anasazi palaces of Chaco, the remote and stunning Canyon de Chelly, and the beaches of Mexico and Florida, it could carry me no farther.

Some day this week, perhaps tomorrow, it will be towed to its final destination at the behest of the American Cancer Society, the proceeds of its sale to be donated to cancer research. It's what it would have wanted.

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"Oh Geo Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling..."