I've Come to Wish You an Unhappy Birthday

It's my second weekend in LA, and I've found through the LA Weekly (surprisingly, much larger than the similarly formatted Tucson Weekly) that a throng of Morrissey fans is throwing him a birthday party, to which I'm sure he's enthusiastically invited but dare not go. There will be a tribute band and plenty of folks with horned-rimmed glasses and mile-high coifs and gladioli hanging out of their back pockets, and me, bewildered like a bushman in a Safeway, an uncloseted fan bouncing around like that bumblebee girl in the Blind Melon video. I just wonder if it really is all harmony and love for your fellow geek at one of these things, or if there are factions or cliques. Early Hatful of Hollow devotees who think Strangeways was a sell-out vs. Moz fans who are too young to have come in with the Smiths who think Vauxhall was his greatest achievement vs. the fey loose-shirt-wearing sort vs. the ridiculous pugilist wannabe greaser Boz apologists. My Moz-fu is greater than yours. Man, if that happens, I'm writing off the whole scene. If I want abuse, I could probably get it from the man himself!

Meanwhile, I'm going to try to get into the Getty Museum and actually absorb a little of what LA has to offer (for some reason a stroll along Rodeo Drive past the Gucci and Tiffany shops didn't leave me feeling fulfilled). And I'll be catching a Sofia Sunseri show on the 8th at the Temple Bar in Santa Monica! I've heard the recently reunited Pixies are also coming to town soon! We shall see if a man can be too entertained!

I write from the strange location of Hollywood Blvd, in a cyber cafe, while the meter on my car runs out. I'm in the middle of my shameless barnstorming tourist phase of acquainting myself with LA -- spent the night last night in a Best Western in Long Beach, drove up a really REALLY lame stretch of the Pacific Coast Highway (perhaps like yourself, I got a glamorous image of something like the Big Sur during a helicopter-swooping car commercial-type-thing. Well, definitely not so between Long Beach and Santa Monica). Then up Santa Monica Blvd, over which the sun had already come up, so I guess I missed out on that. Then right on La Brea to the apparently-world-famous Pink's hotdog stand, and after half an hour of waiting in line for a goddamn hotdog and eating it in 30 seconds, I headed east on Melrose, back west to Vine, and thence to Hollywood Blvd.

And I haven't spotted any actual celebrities yet, but considering the number of bums and tatoo parlors right down the street from the Kodak Theater and Man's Chinese, I wouldn't be caught dead around here if I were an established film stud (Oscar night and Walk of Fame ceremonies excepted). I caught glimpses of the Beverly Hills off Santa Monica Blvd, and I bet they're probably all around there somewhere. And I also bet they wouldn't let me on their property to spot them.

And to answer Shonda's musing, I don't know where the hell I'll be sleeping tonight -- maybe something I read in the California Lonely Planet to the tune of Banana Bob's $15 Hollywood Hostel off of Cahuanga Blvd, which is supposed to be rambunctious and movie-oriented. Probably run by some guy who looks a lot like Divine. But hey, during the week I'm livin' bucks up! And I love it when our throng of archaeologists drags itself back from the field covered in filth and onto the elevators with the Polo-wearing, full-paying business types. It's all I can do to keep from asking them for a quarter!

And one last bit of very odd but exceedingly cool news -- James's own Tim Booth is rumored to be cast as a bad guy in the upcoming Batman movie. Probably gets killed when he's struck by lightning, and he's lit up against the sky like a sign. Like a neon sign.

And one more thing: 4 days until Morrissey's first cd in 7 years! Go. Buy. Validate!

Well, I'm leaving tomorrow for La-La Land, where I'll be digging right here, and I'll be staying right here four days a week. Unfortunately, I'll only be comp'ed the hotel room those four days, and then I have to find some other accomodations on my own. Motel 6? Dorm room? Campground? Park bench? I believe I'll decide when I get there.

Actually, I'm really excited that, among other things, I'll be able to catch a Sofia Sunseri show sometime over the summer, something I've been wanting to do for the past three or so years. Click the link and listen to a few of her tunes (gloriously free of charge!) -- you = instant fan! I just hope she's still performing; the next show listed on her website is March 1 (this year).

I still don't know anything about the dig I'll be participating in, but I am very proud of myself for the preparatory reading I've been doing on California archaeology, as well as the refresher reading about excavation techniques. I'll be the dopest, rockin'est field hand they've ever had! Or at least maybe they'll give me a good recommendation...